How Your Life Changes After a Divorce
by: jameswalsh
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Marriage is a multi-dimensional relationship. It has many aspects, such as legal, social, personal, emotional, procreation and parenting. This makes it a very satisfying and fulfilling arrangement that affects an individual’s personality in its totality.
Marriage has for long been considered a sacred bond that is not be taken lightly. For hundreds of generations, the relationship was considered rock-solid. Life partners were for all purposes treated as life-long partners. Marital separation was unheard of and created a scandal whenever it occurred.
But a sea change began to occur in the age-old institution of marriage from the Second World War. The marital bond over the following decades loosened and divorce became common, so much so that today in some countries over half of all marriages are destined to end in failure.
When you divorce, your life changes drastically and fundamentally. Marriage affords a certain lifestyle that one gets used to. You share the same roof and bed with your partner. You have someone to call and inform if you are coming home late. Your partner offers you emotional and financial support. After divorce, the entire relationship collapses and you are totally on your own. There are many things that undergo a change as soon as the court finalises your separation.
Lack of Intimacy
After divorce, your marriage disintegrates, the family gets split down the middle and you become a single individual again. With this, there is no one you can be intimate with and share all your secrets without any hesitation. Your partner’s shoulder you used to lean on during all the trials and tribulations of life is gone for ever.
If you feel depressed or let-down over something and in case of physical sickness such as a fever or flu, there is no one at home you can turn to for succour and attention. Living alone is a strange experience after staying close to your partner for many years and often it is difficult to adjust to one’s new-found bachelorhood.
Division of Property
Marriage is not merely legal and emotional separation. It has tremendous financial implications too. When you divorce each other, you are expected to come to an arrangement regarding family assets and debt. Everything you acquired during marriage jointly or singly has to be divided equally between the two of you.
Any asset such as car, jewellery, cash in bank, property, shares and so on has to be split along with all liabilities such as credit card debt and mortgage payments. After this division, the partner who did not bring much wealth to marriage gains tremendously.
New Romantic Relationships
Divorce ends your marriage irrevocably. Both of you formally and legally disown all responsibility and obligation for each other’s welfare. But if divorce is the end of one chapter in life, it is also the beginning of another. Before marriage, you could only flirt a little on the sly with people whom you liked.
But now, you are free to meet new interesting individuals and seriously explore fresh romantic relationships. Because of this, the pain of divorce is soon forgotten and you look forward to choosing a life partner who meets your needs and expectations perfectly. You can hope to remarry and settle down in life again.
Single Parenting
There is nothing that is as bitterly contested in a divorce proceeding as child custody. With whom will the kids stay after separation, is the question that haunts both the parents. Child custody is usually assigned to the mother, unless there are exceptional circumstances.
The father after divorce has to reconcile himself to staying alone and seeing the children once every week or so according to the schedule decided by the court. For males who are emotional, this can be quite a depressing experience. For mothers, bringing up the kids on their own poses many challenges. They have to take up a job to make both ends meet and also tend to the house, taking care of the education and upbringing of kids.
Personal Freedom
With divorce comes your own personal freedom. You are free of all restrictions imposed by marriage. You do not have to explain your movements to your partner and there is no hurry to reach home in the evening. You can hang around with your friends or lock the house up and go on outstation trips as much as you want. From a life full of obligations and responsibility, you shift into a free-wheeling existence where you are your own boss. You can splurge all your money if you want because there is nobody to share it with.
About the Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
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