Popular Misconceptions about Divorce
by: jameswalsh
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Because of the life-changing consequences of divorce, many popular myths have grown around it. But are these all true? Let us examine in the following top three misconceptions about divorce commonly held in today’s world.
Men Cheat on Their Wives More
It is a popular belief that men are somehow not attached to a marital relationship as much as women. In popular imagination, men are considered to be ruled by animal instincts of sex and aggression. It is considered that they have a strong libido and are programmed by nature to fertilise as my females as they can to propagate the human race. That is why they are thought to have a roving eye and are always on the look-out for new sex partners. It goes against the basic nature of a man to tie himself down to a single woman and marital relationship all his life, or so the popular impression goes.
Women on the other hand are considered timid and unadventurous who remain happiest voluntarily confining themselves within the four walls of home. They are seen as natural home-builders. They have a sex urge, but it is not perceived to be dominant and is thought to be needed only to conceive children. Men are considered more secretive and manipulative who can easily hoodwink their wives and have extra-marital affairs. Actually, the reality is that both men and women are very much capable of cheating on each other if the conditions are conducive.
Extra-marital affairs can occur due to many reasons, including boredom, a desire to be close and intimate with other individuals, strong body chemistry with some other person, and so on. Perhaps women are perceived not to opt for extra-marital affairs due to their commitment to children and family as well as lack of opportunities to move out of the house when they are not working. However, given the same opportunities, both men and women can grab extra-marital opportunities in equal measure.
Women Generally Do Not Want to Get Divorced Compared to Men
This is the biggest myth about divorce out there. The reality is actually totally different. As a mater of fact, about 70 percent of all divorces are initiated by wives! According to popular imagination, however, the biggest dream a woman has is to marry somebody she loves, have children and settle down in a home of her own where the husband provides her emotional and financial security. This may well be true, but it does not mean that men do not share in this dream and are more prone to walking away and remarrying.
For most men too, life without a family of their own is meaningless. They too want to have children, give them physical and emotional security and rear them up into successful adults. The only thing is that they are too busy earning money to feed the family compared to women who get to spend more time at home and build a strong bond with the kids.
While men get satisfaction from their jobs, women find it difficult to meet their aspirations in terms of profession, money or a healthy sex life. Men are often stumped and taken totally unawares when their wives serve divorce papers on them.
Women are More Attached to Children
It is a widely held belief that mothers and children bond much better with each other compared to the relationship the latter establish with their fathers. There is certainly a lot of truth in this. Women go through a long period of pregnancy before giving birth. They feel more connected with the kids and consider them a part of them and an extension of their own selves.
Children too establish a close emotional relationship with mothers as soon as they are born. They breast-feed for months and look up to moms for physical security. They panic if they are unable to be with their mother even for a moment.
There is no way a father can rival the mother in terms of intimacy and closeness to the children. Women can influence kids any way they want and contribute a lot to shaping their personalities in a particular way. However, just because nature intended mothers and children to share a very strong and close bond does not mean that fathers by definition do not care about the latter as much as mothers do.
Most men are usually quite emotional. They have the same feelings of tenderness and affection toward children as women but they do not show their emotions in front of everyone if they can help it. This is because their wives, children and other relatives like sisters look up to them for support and protection. If men are seen to be weak, everybody else would panic and become insecure. In their heart of hearts, though, men too care for and feel for their children as much as women.
About the Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
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