The Meaning of Marriage
by: jameswalsh
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Word Count: 758
It has often been said that the meaning and concept of marriage has changed with time. But, does one know the actual definition of a marriage? Is it just the physical union of two people for evolution of mankind? Is it just the fulfillment of emotional and physical need? Or, is marriage something more?
Social psychologists, right from the time of Allport in the 1970s, saw marriage as a cumulative mass of emotions and tangible assets. Marriage can be described as the coming together of two individuals for fulfillment of personal and joint desires. Marriage embraces various dimensions of social, emotional, financial, legal, cognitive and physical intimacy aspects. It is imperative to understand the true changing meaning of these facets of marital life. Nothing remains the same forever. This adage holds true for marriage also. An individual has to realise and grasp the implications and meaning of a marital bond. Marriage is viewed as an all-embracing strong emotional bond. The concept of 'We' holds more significance than the individual concept of 'I'. Let’s take a look at the implications of marriage.
Love: People often state that they marry for love. But these people fail to comprehend the true meaning of marital love. Marital love is constantly changing. It never remains the same. It may change form but not magnitude. Marital love starts off with romance followed by intimacy. This usually takes the form of courtship and then marriage, ending in physical intimacy. Marital love changes perspective as two different individuals come to stay with one another. During courtship and physical intimacy, one is on exemplary behaviour. It is customary not to let the other person know your faults.
Thus, the end of physical intimacy and frivolous romance marks the start of true marriage. The individuals come to care for each other. They learn to accept, trust, respect and forgive. True trusting love replaces cardboard love. The advent of children marks a change in marital situation. It changes goals and marital focus. Consequently, marital love also changes to respect and acceptance. Spouses are now parents. They love their children and each other as mature adults. Marital love takes a turn to companionship love and support in old age.
Thus, marriages can only last if this dimension of marital focus is understood. Marital love at all times is dependent on level of commitment and focus.
Cognitive Development: Marriage is a mental challenge for two individuals with different mental capacities. Social psychologists often argue that individuals with the same background and educational status should get married. This is absolutely correct and right. A couple is able to appreciate, trust and support each other more if they have similar educational backgrounds. These marriages last. They are successful as the couple can understand and grasp each other's goals and values. There is no need to verbalise and explain matters. The spouse understands as he/she has a similar mindset and attitude.
Economic and Social Network: A marriage where the couple is unable to pull together as a team is unsuccessful. This team concept has to work in the financial and social sphere. The couple has to be aware of the financial benefits of marriage. When two individuals come together, expenses usually increase. But most importantly, assets and incomes also increase. Two heads and two sets of hands are always better than one.
The couple has to function as a single unit. They may have their own careers and incomes. But they ought to come together for familial purposes. They have to undertake joint financial loans, mortgages and provide support to each other. They have to guide and share the financial burden of bad debts, childcare costs, credit card loans and taxes. Similarly, the couple has to put up joint front at all social functions. It is advised for couples to share a wide social network. This allows them ample space to be critically supportive of each other in front of friends.
Legal Implications: Social psychologists state that marriage is a practical concept. A couple has to be aware of all the legal formalities and terms before entering into marriage. After all, in technical jargon marriage is a contract between two consenting mature adults. Thus, it is vital to have sole bank accounts. Every individual has to have knowledge of his/her rights. This usually relates to marital property, joint debts, taxes and child custody. Being aware of legal implications is not unromantic. It is being sensitive and mature about the contract of marriage. It is always advisable to look after one's own interests. Usually, couples intending marriage sign prenuptial agreements.
About the Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
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